I wake up to a ruckus in the room, so I feel slightly less bad about my chaotic entrance the night before. The good news? I no longer have to pee. The bad news? That’s probably because my body just reabsorbed everything due to dehydration. (TMI? Maybe, but here we are.)

Oh, and my back is still screaming in pain. Fantastic.

Hostel Life: Questionable Choices

A German guy in my room gives me the lowdown on hostel life, including the bathroom situation: co-ed showers, two stalls, no hooks. Perfect. Because nothing says luxury travel experience like dropping your clean shirt into a mystery puddle on the floor.

After my tragic attempt at showering, I pop some painkillers and retreat to my bunk, stretching and praying my back will chill out.

Attempting to Be a Functioning Human

I still haven’t had a sip of water (aside from the sad splash I used to swallow my pills), so I force myself to head out in search of hydration, caffeine, and food.

This turns into a pathetic routine: walk five minutes, sit down, let the pain subside, repeat. After five rounds of this sad shuffle, I finally find a tiny coffee shop where I inhale an Americano and eggs on toast. Feeling slightly more human, I book a Madeira wine tour for the next day (because, let’s be honest, I need something to look forward to).

Old Town Funchal: Prime People-Watching Territory

After breakfast, I limp my way toward Old Town Funchal—because if I can’t hike, at least I can sit and judge tourists instead. I find a great spot to perch and take in the chaos: some weird aerobics class is happening, and there’s a race about to start.

It’s definitely touristy, but at this point? I don’t even care. I’m just happy to be outside, soaking in the atmosphere—aching body and all.

Lessons from Day 2

If this trip has taught me anything so far, it’s that I need to let go.

I’m a control freak, and when things don’t go as planned, I tend to spiral. But here I am, in Madeira, forced to slow down, forced to accept that things will be different—and maybe that’s okay.

At least I have wine tomorrow.